Are you ------------?

Back to Saturday... Gay club Metro later that night, Bryan (refer to Last Post) was supposed to be there, but he wasn't and I'm okay with that.  I get out my phone and send out a mass text to my group of contacts containing every one night stand, ex, and any other form of gay guy and invite them all to metro.  Only a few showed up, which bruised my ego, but saved my sex life. B and I are fighting off lesbians as some guy comes up to us. 

Him: "Hey, do you know Liz?"

Me: "Yea, shes like my best friend" 

Him: "Are you ---------?"

Me: "....Yea, and who the hell are you?"

Him: "We are friends on FB, I just recognized you..."

This has happened before. But this guy was just weird.  Don't come up to me like you know my life and the things I happen to post on Facebook.  I post stuff to be awesome, not stalked. I should really watch who adds me on facebook, but I like the popularity and don't like dealing with my problems.  The conversation really ended then, but he talks up my friend Brendan who is too nice to just walk away.  I send a mass text to everyone in the bar I know to come out and get this creep away.  And I swear, this guy stuck to Brendan more than a drunk Lindsey to her Alcohol Anklet (SCRAM) #highfashion

We get this creep away and lose Brendan in the bar. Oh well. I find out hes dealing with drama, and that's just not cool.  I would much rather cause it and leave, but I wasn't ready to peace out quite yet.  

As usual I will save the convo and just give you the highlights (it saves time and brain power):

Down a Long Island

Order another

Cut myself off

Uncut myself off

Finish my long island

Find Brendan

Hes Talking to a One Night Stand of mine

Head over

Fake smile

Hug and cheek-kiss

Leave.

Receive drunk texts saying "hey" after 1am

Reply saying "I'm off duty"

Pass out. 

Maybe I will fill you in on the rest of the week later.  I'm gonna get a drink and pregame a hangover. Maybe send a few texts, or get a few texts and end up on the bathroom floor. 

I'm reading: Are you ------------?

Beach. Drinks. Drunks.

I haven't posted in a while, actually I haven't posted anything since I have turned 21 and the state let me legally hold a drink, instead of sip off my friends while I slip them dollar bills to cover my addiction.  So now bars are my life, and I try not to broadcast that but its a cold hard fact that cannot be ignored.  I had to learn the ropes of the bar scene, like how to order a drink quickly and know exactly what to say.  With more trial and errors than Paris Hilton's singing career, I got the hang of it, unlike Paris.  I now am a Bar Star and I feel like I'm moving on up in the world.  I guess I could start with just giving you guys the low down on the past week....

I have gone out every night since, well, Saturday? Friday? I'm not really sure. I guess I will start at Saturday: Beach.  Drinks.  Drunks. That about sums it up.  A group of 20+ people headed to South Haven and just got drunk.  That's where I met B.  Shes a wonderful girl. As my Social Lubricant (Burnetts Orange Cream and a Splash of OJ #pureclass) set in, I sat down and chatted this beach goddess up.  As the talk got longer, our distance grew shorter.... and get your mind out of the gutter, I meant the fact that we are from the same home town and have a lot of the same friends. And as she drove us back that evening, our good friend.... Bryan? Sure...  Lets change his name to that, was in the car and he was beyond White Girl Wasted.  Let me just save the leisurely story line and give you the play by play:

Bryan comes over
Make bad decisions
Drive him to his car
Home
Cig
Wish I had a breathalyzer
Wonder how I was able to Drive
Pass out.

I'm reading: Beach. Drinks. Drunks.

Memories of being a Freshman

So its that time where Baby Broncos come and do their orientation.  How I miss those days.  Tours around campus, learning shit for college before I even had my graduation party.  Like I would even remember anything I really learned, and it wasn't ever really important.  They should teach freshman how right off campus there is a 40oz pop for only 80 cents... Now THATS something I remembered.  A den pop is always a great accessory.  Little do they know that once they come here for welcome week, they will be drunk all the time and won't be able to remember where their dorm is.

Best advice I could give freshman, "Always tip your buyer!"  They will learn to go out of their way to help out a thirsty Freshman.  I can't even believe I used to be one of them.  I thought I was some hot shit back then, like "look at me now, i'm in between senior and freshman, and finally learning to shave cuz I went thru puberty late. And now I'm going to college."  I still think I'm hot shit, but for different reasons.  I guess mainly because I probably have a higher alcohol tolerance, and know where everything is on campus.  Well its back to the bottom of the totem pole for them, and me starting the first of who knows how many senior years I will have, am about to be 21 (hence the multiple senior years).  Who can't wait to do everything drunk?! ME.  Go shopping drunk, brush my teeth drunk, watch TV drunk, do the dishes drunk, facebook stalk and harass drunk[enly? (grammar was never my strong suit)], especially going to class drunk.  Someone remind me in a week to get a personal driver so I don't get a DUI.

Anyways, I digress, back to the senior/freshman that I have been drooling over for the past few nights.  I wish I had their bods.  I wish I could eat whatever I want and still be as in shape as they are.  Its like they don't eat.  Now I eat a french fry and feel like I gained seven pounds.... Sadly, that doesn't keep me from saying yes when someone mentions Menna's Joint at 2am!  I hate waking up with that greased out foil wrapper next to my bed.  Its worse than waking up with an empty fifth of burnettes next to your bed.  And anyone knows how depressing it is that you have nothing left to drink, and the fact that you bought burnettes. Now all I do is get drunk and watch horror movies with my friend Liz.  It's sad that all i have to do is say I'm with Liz and 98.6% of my friends know what we are doing.  Working out should be in my schedule instead of sitting on my couch for hours on end and drinking Bud Light.  It would be the only satisfaction I can imagine that will make up for my eating habits.  Getting all sweaty and losing some LBs.  Sounds like sex, but we all know how hard it is to get some.  Haha, thats actually a joke... With a roofie and a few shots, anything is possible.  Well i gotta get going.  It's 1:30am and I think one of my roommates said Menna's.

Remember.... Live Pretty, Die Thin.

I'm reading: Memories of being a Freshman