So its that time where Baby Broncos come and do their orientation. How I miss those days. Tours around campus, learning shit for college before I even had my graduation party. Like I would even remember anything I really learned, and it wasn't ever really important. They should teach freshman how right off campus there is a 40oz pop for only 80 cents... Now THATS something I remembered. A den pop is always a great accessory. Little do they know that once they come here for welcome week, they will be drunk all the time and won't be able to remember where their dorm is.
Best advice I could give freshman, "Always tip your buyer!" They will learn to go out of their way to help out a thirsty Freshman. I can't even believe I used to be one of them. I thought I was some hot shit back then, like "look at me now, i'm in between senior and freshman, and finally learning to shave cuz I went thru puberty late. And now I'm going to college." I still think I'm hot shit, but for different reasons. I guess mainly because I probably have a higher alcohol tolerance, and know where everything is on campus. Well its back to the bottom of the totem pole for them, and me starting the first of who knows how many senior years I will have, am about to be 21 (hence the multiple senior years). Who can't wait to do everything drunk?! ME. Go shopping drunk, brush my teeth drunk, watch TV drunk, do the dishes drunk, facebook stalk and harass drunk[enly? (grammar was never my strong suit)], especially going to class drunk. Someone remind me in a week to get a personal driver so I don't get a DUI.
Anyways, I digress, back to the senior/freshman that I have been drooling over for the past few nights. I wish I had their bods. I wish I could eat whatever I want and still be as in shape as they are. Its like they don't eat. Now I eat a french fry and feel like I gained seven pounds.... Sadly, that doesn't keep me from saying yes when someone mentions Menna's Joint at 2am! I hate waking up with that greased out foil wrapper next to my bed. Its worse than waking up with an empty fifth of burnettes next to your bed. And anyone knows how depressing it is that you have nothing left to drink, and the fact that you bought burnettes. Now all I do is get drunk and watch horror movies with my friend Liz. It's sad that all i have to do is say I'm with Liz and 98.6% of my friends know what we are doing. Working out should be in my schedule instead of sitting on my couch for hours on end and drinking Bud Light. It would be the only satisfaction I can imagine that will make up for my eating habits. Getting all sweaty and losing some LBs. Sounds like sex, but we all know how hard it is to get some. Haha, thats actually a joke... With a roofie and a few shots, anything is possible. Well i gotta get going. It's 1:30am and I think one of my roommates said Menna's.
Remember.... Live Pretty, Die Thin.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
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